I must apologize to all that know me and who I may have offended. I didn’t even realize until today…I have a serious fascination with buts. It seems to be relatively subconscious, as I wasn’t aware of my problem. On reflection though, I do like them, and it’s not only mine I like. I admit it, I like them all. I’ve had to stop the presses on my soon to be released, 14 Gable Lane, to deal with my personal issues. I need an intervention.
I know there is a certain usefulness to buts, however, I’ve gone too far…I’ll use them for anything. Generally speaking, they’re best used to make things flow better, but why stop there. If I get thinking about them, I can make things bigger, and sometimes when I’m done with them, I can even make things smaller. I like to play with them…try different things. However, this is not considered proper behaviour by most, at least not in public. Buts should be used only in some environments, not just pulled out anywhere, anytime, for indiscriminate flaunting.
I’ve been made aware of my problem, not by a friend, not by anyone who cares, and not by self-awareness, but from a mindless, heartless computer program simply analyzing my words. Who would have guessed our technology would come to this…a machine highlighting my flaws, calling me out, luckily before anyone who knows me gets hurt.
So to deal with my issues, I’m starting a twelve step program, the first of which is to admit my problem…a severe obsession with buts. The second is to apologize to anyone who I’ve offended by sticking my buts all over the place, often where they don’t belong. I will soon be going back, looking over my recent past, 14 Gable Lane, pulling out my buts.
I have many things to be thankful about, but right now, I’m thankful for a wonderful team of beta readers who have graciously agreed to help in the near future when I’m finally ready to let go. Ready to open myself criticism, to share something I’m proud of…a piece of myself. Thankfully…without my buts.